People annoy me.
And for people that actually don’t annoy me, I simply find myself unable to relate to and/or talk to them. Surely, we could say “hi”, talk about classes, do homework together, talk about how we’re going to spend our spring breaks, but there is no deep connection; it’s just a bland mixture of the usual stuff that I frankly do not care about. I long for close friendships, but 5 times out of 10 we’re just utterly incompatible to begin with, and the remaining 5, I find it very difficult to get close to them.
I knowlots of people—tons of them. And I’m sure tons of people know me as well. But as for real, close friends, I’d be pushing it if I said I had a handful.
I am by no means “depressed”, but I am extremely frustrated by the fact that I really don’t have anyone who I could truly call “friends”. No one who I could have actual conversations with. No one who understands or shares topics of interest. And that is pretty much the reason why I want to leave this place as soon as possible. But the question is: Will I ever be able to find anyone even after leaving college?
And Interestingly enough, it’s usually the church community that I find least appealing, because I could never share my struggles with them, and when I do, they simply don’t understand where I am coming from. Instead of talking about Jesus, conversations are always about stuff that don’t really matter.